I swear we make New Year’s resolutions so we can break them. I got tired of the usual ones like “exercise more” and “eat less”. In years past, I’ve been lucky if the “eat less” lasted until Super Bowl and the “exercise more” just never happened. I thought I’d try a few new ones this year. I limit myself to five resolutions—the first one being “don’t make too many resolutions.” We are now in the last week of January and I’ve managed to break three of them.
Broken Resolution #1: No new makeup, lotions, or body wash until all my old products are used up.
Said no woman ever, except me. At my age, there’s a lot of “revitalizing” going on. You’d think with the amount of plucking, exfoliating, shaving and slathering I do on a daily basis it wouldn’t be a problem to use up product. And it really wouldn’t have been if I’d have just stuck to my resolution. But
then Josie Maran and her 100% Pure Argan Oil dropped by my house and it was bye-bye Burt’s Bees. Of course, I didn’t throw Burt out, just stuck him in the drawer in case I missed him later. Josie’s oil has totally cured my cuticle issue and the butter body balm hasn’t hurt any either. Resolution lasted til January 6th.
Broken Resolution #2: No gas station food or fast food.
Sometimes I have five or more visits in a day. It’s easy to stop at 7-11 for a couple of taquitos and a Big Gulp. The temptation to pull in for an order of salty fries and sweet tea at McDonald’s is irresistible when you’ve skipped breakfast. I could have stuck to my resolution, unfortunately the gift certificate from my kids at Christmas introduced me to the Jalapeno Poppers at Arby’s. Yes, they have the “meats,” but those poppers are crisp, hot and the cream cheese filling has just the right amount of spice. I lasted until January 15th, when I was in a hurry to get home and watch the Packers/Dallas playoff game.
Broken Resolution #3: Don’t swear, talk to or throw things at inanimate objects.
“OMG, you’ve got to be kidding me!” Spoken in a barely controlled voice to my cell phone on January 18th. After waiting 45 minutes, Blue Cross cut me off when they tried to transfer me to the “right party” without giving me the “right party’s” phone number. I had to totally get myself together before I called back and waited another 30 minutes.
“You miss that field goal and Aaron Rogers will probably kill you himself.” Spoken (well, I actually screamed) at my TV on January 15th during the last seconds of the playoff game between Green Bay and Dallas.
“Hey buddy, were turn signals optional on your car?” Really? I think I broke this resolution January 2nd. I know that a person driving a car is not quite an inanimate object but good grief! It is so inconsiderate when you see someone waiting to make a left turn and you are making a right turn—right where they are going! Grrrrrr!
As you can see, my resolutions were not earth-shattering and just like other resolutions, I wasn’t able to keep them for even a month! Maybe that says something about making resolutions at all. Old habits can be comforting and I make resolutions because everybody asks me what I’m making resolutions about. I feel guilty saying that I’m quite happy the way my life is….most of the time. New New Year’s resolution: Just relax, enjoy your life and quit worrying..it doesn’t change anything anyway. And let’s not even talk about what happened during the Green Bay/Atlanta game!